A Death Eater Christmas Party
by KateKicksAss
Summary: After the latest failed attempt on Harry Potter's life, the Death Eaters aren't in a good mood. So Wormtail gets an idea. What better morale booster than a Christmas Party? Read on to find out JUST how wrong he is!
1. Crucio and Laundry

Wormtail sighed as he sprayed detergent on the Dark Lords second-best black robe, (which, coincidentally, looked almost exactly like his best black robe. And his third, fourth, fifth, and sixth best black robes as well). He found it rather depressing that even after all he had done, handing over the Potters, and helping the Dark Lord regain his body, that the Dark Lord STILL made him do his laundry and fetch his lattes. At least it wasn't as bad this time, since Bellatrix wasn't-

"Hahahahaha!", came a loud cackle behind him. He buried his face in his hands, which turned out to be a big mistake, as he was holding a handful of the Dark Lords clothing when he did it. Spitting a sock out of his mouth, he tried to resume his task. Maybe if he ignored her again, she'd just go away. No such luck.

"Awwww, poor widdle Wormtail", she mocked in a singsong, baby voice.

Wormtail groaned. The same thing had happened last time. It was as though Bellatrix had a sixth sense, whenever the Dark Lord ordered someone (usually Wormtail) to do menial, stupid tasks, such as coffee runs and laundry duty, Bellatrix was there in a flash, laughing and taunting them, and bragging about the benefits of being the Dark Lords favorite. Wormtail had specifically tried to get started when he was sure Bellatrix had already left headquarters for her favorite daily activity of muggle torture, but no such luck.

"I'm sure SOME day the Dark Lord will promote you," continued Bellatrix, "to TOILET duty!, Hahahaha", she started laughing again, and pointing.

Wormtail shuddered. The last person the Dark Lord had forced toilet duty on had been Lucius. The poor man hadn't fully recovered for a week. Wormtail wasn't sure if the trauma had been because of what went down Death Eater toilets, or how he'd been made to clean them, but frankly, he didn't want to know.

"Maybe she's acting like that because….because she likes me!", Wormtail thought hopefully to himself. Not that he'd ever DARE tell anyone, but he had a little crush on Bellatrix. Okay, not a little one, a big one, a really big one. If anyone else had mocked him as he was stuffing the Dark Lords black robes into a washing machine, he probably would have practiced a crucio on them, but since it was Bellatrix, he just decided to grin and bear it. At least she was spending time with him, even if it was time full of jabs, mockery, and insults.

At least the Dark Lord hadn't made him do Fenrir Greybacks laundry again. Fenrirs clothing had been covered in blood and gore, and had smelled worse than that horrible cologne Yaxley always wore. Wormtail had nearly fainted, and had spent the rest of the week picking little bits of intestine from under his fingernails.

Morale had been rather low at Death Eater headquarters lately. Ever since the last attempt by Voldemort on the Potter brats life had failed, the Dark Lord had been especially nasty and ruthless, torturing Death Eaters for various little things and being extra grumpy. Rodolphus had received a nasty stinging hex for accidentally smiling as he served the Dark Lord his dinner the previous night. Since then, the Death Eaters had been taking out their frustration on each other. Bellatrix was the worst. She would randomly curse people whenever they had the misfortune of crossing her path or annoying her. She'd crucio-ed Lucius that morning just because he'd accidentally bumped her with his walking stick.

"What we need", thought Wormtail, "Is some sort of morale booster". As he pondered, he suddenly remembered that it was December.

"That's IT!", he cried excitedly, accidentally dropping the Dark Lords fifth-best robe into a puddle of bleach. "It's just what we need"

Bellatrix stopped cackling and making snide remarks.

"What do we need?", she demanded, grabbing her wand threateningly. Suddenly she gasped in horror.

"You just dropped the Dark Lord's fifth-best robe into a puddle of BLEACH!", she screeched in horror, pointing, mouth wide open in shock.

As Wormtail squeezed his eyes shut in horror, Bellatrix went ballistic. "HOW DARE YOU!", she shrieked, "YOU FILTHY PIECE OF-". Wormtail tried to tune her out. He understood the concept of loyaly, but Bellatrix's often bordered into insane obsession. He sighed.

"-YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?", Bellatrix finished shrieking. "CRUCIO!".

Wormtail heard Bellatrix's laughter as he writhed on the floor, screaming in pain from her spell. "And this is exactly why we need a morale booster", was his last conscious thought before he fainted.


	2. The Last Straw

*_The sky was clear and blue, and the sun shone brightly. Turquoise waves washed over warm sand. Palm trees dotted the shore. Wormtail stepped forward, and smiled for the first time in weeks as sunshine washed over his pasty, ratlike face. A pretty woman stepped forward, offering him a cool drink with a little umbrella sticking out of it. Everything was perfect. Except for one thing. His arm was hurting like hell_*.

Womtails eyes flew open. The pristine beach was gone, he was lying in a puddle of bleach on the basement floor. He was sore all over. Bellatrix was also gone. The only part that was real was his arm. His mark was burning insistently. He hurriedly sat up, hoping he wouldn't be late for the meeting again. He stood and disapparated. No such luck.

He stood outside the doors to the Malfoy's drawing room. He slowly eased them open.

"Wormtail", the Dark Lords high, cold voice rang out across the room. Wormtail cringed as all the heads turned his way. There was an almost collective gasp at the sight of him. Then all chaos broke loose. Bellatrix began to laugh, cackling and beating her fists on the table. Several others smirked or giggled, and Lucius looked slightly ill. Even the Dark Lord seemed amused, Wormtail could have sworn he saw a brief nasty smirk cross his master's thin lips.

"Quiet", he called, and the noise instantly fell to a funeral-appropriate level. Then Wormtail caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror across the room.

Even he couldn't believe what he was looking at at first. His face was covered in scrapes and bruises, his suit was ripped, and because of the bleach, had colorless, white spots splashed across it.

As he was looking down at himself in horror, the Dark Lord spoke again.

"Why were you late?". Wormtail froze. "Ummm, well", he glanced at Bellatrix. If he confessed, Wormtail knew he'd blow his only chances at her ever liking him, and on top of that, she'd make his life miserable. Not that she wouldn't do that anyways, but it was NOT a good idea to cross Bellatrix Lestrange. And every Death eater knew it.

"Well?". Lord Voldemort asked again calmly. His eyes probed Wormtail, and he knew that the Dark Lord was employing his talents at Legilimency again. Womtail bowed as the Dark Lord searched his mind. Suddenly he laughed.

"Well well", he sounded amused. Wormtail squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could disappear. The Dark Lord turned to Bellatrix. "While I admire your loyalty, Bella, and while your actions were certainly not uncalled for, and rather amusing, please do not make Wormtail late again". Bellatrix smirked, then bowed her head. "Of course, Master", she said, her voice filled with pleasure at the slight praise.

He turned back to Wormtail. "But you were still late", his voice had lost its amusement. "And you will pay. Do not displease Lord Voldemort, Wormtail. CRUCIO!". As Womtail lost consciousness for the second time that day, he knew he had to go ahead with his idea.

When Wormtail woke up, the meeting was over; the other Death Eaters were standing up and beginning to disperse. Clearly no one had bothered to wake him up for it. He sighed and began to stand up. No one noticed his as he brushed himself off. Suddenly, he heard a cackle right next to him. He cringed.

"Awww, is widdle Wormykins awake? Wondering what you missed? Next time, try not to sleep through the meeting!", Bellatrix smirked and laughed nastily. As Wormtail was not at that point suicidal, he decided not to point out to her that being asleep and being unconscious were two completely different things.

A few nearby people laughed, and Womtail felt himself begin to turn red. Rodolphus laughed sycophantically and too loudly. Bellatrix turned and kicked him in the shins. He shut up, and quickly excused himself. Wormtail knew she couldn't stand him, and couldn't fathom why she hadn't divorced him yet, but at the moment he was too preoccupied with not dying of embarrassment to care.

As he tried to scurry away from the danger zone, Bellatrix turned back to him.

"Is widdle Wormykins EMBARRASED? Is he upset that big bad Bellatrix is teasing him? Awwww", she laughed again. Wormtail looked towards the Dark Lord. He did not appear to be paying attention to the scene, and was talking in hushed tones with Yaxley. This action did not go unnoticed by Bellatrix, who laughed even louder.

"Awww, is our little rat looking for protection?", she smirked, and the few onlookers grinned nastily. Then Bellatrix's tone grew unusually serious. "But then again, you aren't a REAL Death Eater, are you?". She laughed again, then flicked her wand. Wormtail tripped and fell flat on his face. Laughing evilly, she turned to go.

"Bellatrix", called a familiar, high, cold voice. Everyone in the room froze. "I trust you will be responsible for filling Wormtail in on everything he missed during this meeting?", Lord Voldemort smirked.

Bellatrix opened her mouth, for a second looking as though she were about to protest. Thinking better of it, she composed herself and closed it. Lord Voldemort's smile grew. "Certainly, Master", she hissed, bowing her head. Shooting Wormtail a glare, she swept out of the room. "If looks could kill…", thought Wormtail, shivering slightly as he waited for the room to clear out.

Finally, the room was empty. "What is it, Wormtail?", asked the Dark Lord, turning to Wormtail, his tone unreadable.

"I-I-I w-wanted to ask you s-something", Wormtail stammered nervously, suddenly regretting staying.

"Ask then", snapped Lord Voldemort. "I am a busy man, you know. I have better things to do than stand around talking to cowering servants".

"", Wormtail blurted quickly.

The Dark Lord frowned. "Speak up!", he glared again.

"I-I was wondering if we c-could have a Christmas party", Wormtail repeated, squeezing his eyes shut.

Opening them nervously, he regarded the Dark Lord.

Instead of looking angry, he merely looked confused. "Why?", he asked, regarding Wormtail as though he'd just sprouted an extra arm.

"I j-just thought, maybe we n-needed some sort of….m-morale booster…or something…it could be fun…...", he trailed off.

Voldemort looked mad. "You're saying that I can't keep my Death Eaters happy?", he said calmly, in a tone that Wormtail recognized as the one he used when he was about to kill someone.

Wormtail gulped. "N-no, not at all, Master. I j-just thought it could be fun…."

The Dark Lord stroked his chin as he thought.

"All right, I suppose so", he agreed, still staring intently at Wormtail.

"You'll be putting it all together, I presume?"

"Of course, Master", said Wormtail, not only happy that the party was on, but also relieved that he was still alive.

"But, if ANYTHING goes wrong…..If anything should happen at this, this PARTY….", Voldemort fingered his wand threateningly.

"O-of course, Master", Wormtail gulped, wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.

With a bow, he scurried out of the room.

"Note to self; find out what in the name of Merlin a Christmas party is ", Lord Voldemort muttered after Wormtail left the room.


	3. Voldemort's Request

For the next week, preparations for the party were in full swing. Wormtail had managed to recruit Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Fenrir to help him, and everything was going seemingly according to plan. Though it had been a little annoying trying to explain to Fenrir that garlands weren't edible, and explaining again and again to everyone that they couldn't eat the gingerbread houses, he was feeling good.

XxX

Wormtail sat down in his seat at the next meeting, pleased that it was already going better than the first. He'd handed out flyers about the party to everyone as they'd walked in the door. Though most had crumpled them up or held them at arm's length, and Bellatrix had even blown her nose on hers, they'd all accepted them reluctantly, as the Dark Lord was watching.

"Death Eaters", said Lord Voldemort after the meeting, as everyone was beginning to stand. They all sat, and waited patiently for Voldemort to continue.

"I see you all know about the Party", he said, gesturing at the lurid red flyers. He picked one up. The Death Eaters nodded with faux enthusiasm. "I have decided that everyone must go", he continued.

Everyone's mouth, including Wormtails dropped open practically simultaneously. Wormtail was thrilled, but he gathered that he was one of the only few who felt that way.

"…, and Wormtail have all been preparing, and I've decided that we all need some sort of morale booster", the Dark Lord continued, looking around the table.

Bellatrix leaned towards him. "Of COURSE, I'll be there, My Lord", she said, quickly un-crumpling her flyer, and smiling.

"Thank you for your enthusiasm, Bella", said Lord Voldemort with a tiny smirk. "Also, I have decided that everyone must bring…..what are they called…..uh….GIFTS, to this "party"", he finished.

The Death Eaters exchanged confused looks, then quickly followed suit, promising they'd show up, some of them shooting death glares at Wormtail when the Dark Lord wasn't watching.

As Dolohov made throat-slitting motions in his direction, Wormtail made a mental note to set a few extra protective spells around his bedroom that night.


	4. Bellatrix's Big mistake

It was snowing heavily the day of the party, adding to the atmosphere. Wormtail headed towards the drawing room to set up decorations when suddenly, something tripped him, and he went sprawling. As he pushed himself off the floor, he heard a nasty giggle, and something grabbed his arm, HARD. "Owww", he whined, looking up into Bellatrix's face.

Wormtail skipped downstairs excitedly to begin putting up decorations, when suddenly, something stepped in front of him. Wormtail stumbled and nearly fell, then looked up into Lord Voldemort's face.

"H-hello, Master", he said nervously, hoping the party was still on.

The Dark Lord laughed at Wormtails nervousness. "Why so nervous, Wormtail? I've merely brought a few friends to help you set up!", he gestured behind him.

Standing there, looking sulky were Lucius and Bellatrix. The Dark Lord turned to them. "Listen to Wormtail, and do what he says to set up for this "party"", he instructed.

Bellatrix and Lucius looked furious, but managed to nod and say, "Yes, Master".

Wormtail was shocked. Why was the Dark Lord so….dare he say….ENTHUSIASTIC about the party? And was him having Bellatrix and Lucius help out genuinely trying to be helpful, or was it a veiled assassination attempt on Wormtail, because neither Bellatrix nor Lucius could stand him, and loathed the idea of answering to him?

"Th-thank you", he stammered, bowing quickly several times nervously.

"Excellent", Voldemort smiled, and Wormtail was reminded of a hungry shark. "See you at the party". With that, the Dark Lord disapparated.

"Uh…this-this way", Wormtail gestured towards the drawing room. Bellatrix and Lucius fell into step ahead of him. As they walked, Wormtail could hear them beginning to argue.

"…YOUR fault!", Bellatrix was saying.

"No, it's YOURS! You're the one who suggested we go to wish the Dark Lord a Merry Christmas..", Lucius replied, glaring.

"Well YOU were the one who said you were so bloody BORED, so he assigned us to help…." Wormtail tuned them out with a sigh. He could already imagine what fun setting up would be.

"What took you so long?", asked Greyback as they stepped into the room. "And-Oh, hello Bellatrix, Lucius", he interrupted himself, shooting a quizzical stare at Wormtail.

"Uh, The Dark Lord sent Lucius and Bellatrix to help us set up", Wormtail announced nervously. Rodolphus looked both terrified and happy at the prospect of working near his wife. And Wormtail did NOT like the nasty grin that was slowly spreading across Bellatrix's face.


	5. The Garlands of Doom

Putting his doubts aside, Wormtail assigned Bellatrix to hanging decorations, Lucius to set up the furniture, and he, Greyback, Rodolphus and Rabastan began to set up and decorate the tree. All was peaceful for a few minutes, then;

CRASH! Rodolphus fell to the floor, motionless, a smashed box of baubles around him.

"The decorations!", yelled Greyback frantically as they all rushed over.

"Oops", Bellatrix smirked from atop the ladder, clearly not upset in the slightest. She smothered a giggle as she looked down at her unconscious husband.

Wormtail sighed, and after reviving the unconscious Rodolphus, he reassigned Bellatrix to tree duty, his suspicions that it had been the wrong idea to put her on the ladder confirmed.

After a few more small mishaps, the decorating was going smoothly. Wormtail was just turning to check on everything when he felt something scratchy slide around his neck.

He gasped, and Bellatrix laughed as she continued to pull the garland around his throat.

His eyes widened as she began to pull it tighter. "Merry Christmas, Wormtail", she smirked, and yanked on it. Clearly, she was not clued into the fact that garlands were NOT the item to use if you wanted to strangle someone. The garland snapped, and she looked confused, before trying again with a string of popcorn. Wormtail scrambled away before she could ruin the rest of the decorations, and shook his head in disbelief, debating if it would be a good idea to switch her to furniture, finally deciding against it, lest she attempt to bash him on the head with a chair.

Several hours and screams of pain (thanks to Bellatrix) later, the Drawing room was all set up. Lucius stormed out the door, angrily cursing Bellatrix under his breath. Wormtail had wondered why until he'd seen Bellatrix pouring glue into his hair. He scratched his head, wondering where on earth Bellatrix had gotten the glue from as everyone left the room.

It did look quite nice, Wormtail thought, staring around. Green fires blazed, throwing warm light all over the darkened room. Skull shaped baubles hung everywhere, and the tree was weighed down with Dark Mark ornaments. Sparkly black garlands hung with fake, non-meltable snow adorned the walls, and the portraits were all wearing Santa hats, albeit reluctantly. He smiled. Maybe this would go well, after all. He had no idea just how wrong he was.


	6. Bad Music and Flying Snakes

Later that afternoon, the party was set to start. When Wormtail reached the Drawing room, the Dark Lord was already there, standing by the door.

"This looks excellent, Wormtail. I trust this party will be a success", he said, gesturing around the room. Wormtail gulped, nodding, not missing the implications in the Dark Lords words. Wormtail hurried to put his gifts under the tree, and people began to arrive.

Bellatrix strode through the door, shooting an adoring smile at the Dark Lord. "I'm sure this will be an excellent party, My Lord", she said, bowing, and then turning to dump a pile of what could hardly be called gifts under the tree. Most of them were sloppily wrapped in old Daily Prophets, and sealed with spellotape. When the Dark Lord turned his back, she flopped down on the couch huffily.

Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco were next. They bowed to the Dark Lord, then stood around awkwardly. Finally, the rest of the Death Eaters arrived all together in a crowd. Wormtail hurriedly turned on some Christmas music.

"WHAT IS THIS S#%&?", yelled Bellatrix, suddenly standing up. All heads turned towards her. She pointed her wand at the record machine, and it blew up.

"OUCH!", yelled Lucius, as a piece of it ricocheted off his head. The others ducked and covered, not wanting to meet a similar fate.

"How about some REAL music", Bellatrix continued, waving her wand. Instead of the quiet, soft Christmas music that had been playing only moments earlier, a loud, angry rock song blasted through the room. Wormtail cringed, but most of the others seemed more at ease, smiling and laughing.

The Dark Lord took up a position in the head armchair as the party settled into full swing. Fenrir ran straight over to the food table, and began cramming cake and punch into his mouth. Lucius shuddered and turned away from him.

Dolohov and Travers stood in a corner. Dolohov reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle. "I'll need this if I'm going to survive this", he grumbled. "Want some?". "What've you got there?", asked Bellatrix, not missing the exchange. She grabbed the bottle of alcohol. "Why didn't you tell me? I guarantee you no one wants to be here less than me". She lifted it to her mouth and chugged most of it down, then flipped the bottle back to Dolohov. "And that's EXACTLY why", he muttered as she walked away. "Hey-GIMME THAT!", he yelled, seeing Travers desperately trying to finish it off.

Nagini slithered quietly around the edges of the room, then slid up her masters chair and around his shoulders. She surveyed the room quietly, them slithered off in search of a quieter place to take a nap.

She slid quietly up the legs of the treats table, and slithered around the plates, finally settling down in the punch. "Perfect", she thought, sinking below the surface of the green liquid.

Wormtail stood by the treats table, smiling slightly as he looked around. Suddenly, his nostrils were assaulted by an awful stench. He gagged as he turned around. "Something wrong?", asked Yaxley, surprised. "Of course, Yaxley and his cologne", thought Wormtail, as he tried to shake his head no. "Here, try some of my cologne, it should make you feel better", said Yaxley, pulling out a bottle. Wormtail gasped in horror, and tried to breathe only through his mouth as the other man sprayed the contents of the bottle around.

Then, Yaxley grabbed a cup and reached for the ladle to scoop himself some punch. He turned to Wormtail as he scooped, unaware that he was about to accidentally scoop up Nagini's head. "Wormtail, you want some pun-!", he screamed in horror. He'd scooped up Nagini, who was still asleep in the punch bowl, and she'd angrily opened her mouth and hissed at him. He screamed loudly, flinging Nagini across the room. She smacked into the ceiling, then flew down, landing on Yaxleys head. He screamed again, running away blindly in horror, clawing at his head trying to get her off. He smacked into the wall, and hit the floor. The other Death eaters, surprised at first began to laugh, Bellatrix loudest of all.

"What's this?", asked the Dark Lord coldly, rising from his chair. With an angry hiss, Nagini slid over to him and curled around his shoulders, hissing into his ear.

"Na-na-nagini, in…punch bowl", blubbered Yaxley, terrified. The Dark Lords thin lips curled with amusement as Nagini hissed to him in Parseltongue, and then his look changed to one of fury.

"You could have KILLED Nagini!", he said, his voice not betraying a single hint of emotion, making it only more terrifying.

"I'm s-s-so s-sorry", Yaxley exclaimed in terror, looking up at Lord Voldemort.

"Apologize to Nagini!", he demanded, waving his wand. His spell forced poor Yaxley to his feet.

Yaxley looked around terrified, his eyes wide and unblinking.

"Apologize to Nagini", The Dark Lord said again, in a dangerous, quiet tone.

"I'm s-sorry Nagini", said Yaxley. "I d-didn't mean to, I swear!". Nagini slid forward and nodded, eyes narrowed. She flicked her tongue out so it touched Yaxleys nose, then curled back around Lord Voldemort's neck.

Wormtail looked around. The other Death Eaters were wide eyed, clearly trying not to laugh.

"Now", continued the Dark Lord, "How about presents?"


End file.
